Two Can Play At That Game
by spin1978
Summary: Spoilers for up to Ch. 355. The epic battle in the false Karakura Town takes an unexpected twist.


Two Can Play At That Game

**Disclaimer**: _Bleach_ doesn't belong to me. This is pure unbeta'ed cracky one-shot lunacy. Enjoy it for what it is. Thanks.

Shunsui Kyouraku gasped as he felt what followed that monumental shockwave of unimaginable reiatsu. The sensation was so profound that it even halted Jyuushiro Ukitake's cough in its midst, something the two of them hadn't ever given any thought to in their lives.

The familiar, pulsing reiatsu of Shigekuni Yamamoto-Genryusai was gone. They looked over, amidst their old exiled comrades taking on Aizen's secret Espada - a reserve force of 10 vasto lorde-class arrancar that were only introduced after the Gotei 13 captains narrowly defeated the top three public Espada - where Aizen's zanpakuto now dripped with blood from having decapitated their teacher, their mentor, and substitute father figure.

"Now, since that's done -" Aizen said, before pausing, looking over to his left. A bright column of light went up on the nearby rooftop where Hachigen Ushoda was healing the injured shinigami. The former Kido Corps vice-captain attempted to reinforce the barrier, but the shaft of swirling, throbbing reiatsu pierced even his strongest, most freshly applied barrier. An ill-defined blur rose up and flashed before Aizen and his two fellow traitors faster than anyone's eye could see.

"Daiguren Hyourinmaru!"

Toshiro Hitsugaya – barely stitched together the last time Hachigen looked over at him – stood before all like he hadn't been sliced down the middle by Halibel, his bankai released and the sheer amount of spiritual pressure being released causing everyone to feel uncomfortable.

"All captains and allies of Soul Society, retreat!" Hitsugaya ordered.

"Under what authority-" Kensei Mugurama growled as he recovered from using his zanpakuto to brush aside a Black Cero.

Ukitake and Shunsui saw the young white haired captain's blood-stained white haori clearly, though, and saw that the kanji for "10" losing its vertical marking, becoming a "1" before their eyes.

"Retreat immediately!" Ukitake exclaimed. "No time to explain, please!" Ukitake's reputation was enough for everyone to obey immediately.

"Please, Hitsugaya-kun, whatever makes you think-"

"Entoropi Kanetsu Shikyo.**" **The retreating shinigami and vizards felt the deepest cold they'd ever felt in their lives nipping at their heels, ending right at the border of the false Karakura Town. They looked back, seeing the scene before them look as if someone had paused a video recording, perfect and serene stillness. They saw Hitsugaya raise his sword, an ice dragon surging skyward, and then flipping over, rushing to the ground.

As it hit the ground, the entire false Karakura Town broke down, each spirit particle excluding those composing Hitsugaya's body separating from the other, the entire array of enemies literally vanishing away to dust. The pillars also fell, the true Karakura Town returning to the Living World.

"What the fuck just happened?" Lisa Yadomaru exclaimed.

_The next day, 1__st__ Division Meeting Room_

"Yare, yare, Jyuu-chan, this is going to be troublesome."

"Shunsui, I know, but they deserve an explanation." The two captains were waiting at the head of the room, waiting for their visitors. The 4th Division captain and her vice-captain were quietly standing in place. The hulking 7th Division captain with his vice-captain were the first to appear, followed by the 6th Division captain and his bandaged-up vice-captain, just retrieved the other day from Hueco Mundo. The 2nd Division captain and vice-captain followed, Soifon with a scowl on her face and Omaeda with a dazed look plastered across his face. The vice-captains of the 3rd, 5th, and 9th Divisions appeared, each a bit shell-shocked from yesterday's events.

"Nanao-chan!" Shunsui exclaimed as he saw the latest party to enter the room, the two 3rd Seats from the 13th with them. Following them came the captains and vice-captains from the 10th, 11th, and 12th Divisions. The last group to enter the hall was the largest and loudest, heard even over the scolding Shunsui was getting from his lovely, lovely Nanao-chan.

The former ryoka with the vizards and four exiles appeared now, quieting the assembled officers of the Gotei 13.

"Please, everyone quiet down," Ukitake said. "Now, this isn't something which I would normally explain to so many of you, but you deserve this explanation. I must ask that you keep it in the strictest confidence.

"In addition to the knowledge of the King's Key, the Captain-Commander also is instructed in a rare and otherwise forbidden kido that permits one, at a moment immediately before their death, to give up their life and pass along their strength and knowledge to a worthy shinigami. The recipient is expected to be a captain, and if this person is also near death, it will rejuvenate them to beyond their full capacity. It can, as we saw yesterday, even enable a shinigami to force their zanpakuto beyond what should be otherwise possible."

"Wait a minute, does this mean Toshiro is now in the old man's position?" Ichigo asked. He hadn't had much rest since being fetched from Hueco Mundo by Urahara the other day, and was still catching up on what had gone down in the Living World. Hitsugaya winced at the use of his first name.

"Hitsugaya-san, please come up here," Ukitake said. Hitsugaya grimaced, walking up the middle of the room, the single stripe in his haori's Gotei 13 rhombus insignia obvious to all. "This kido also has the effect of changing the recipient captain's haori insignia to that of the 1st Division."

"But why him and not you or Kyouraku-san?" Rose spoke up. "I can imagine that since Unohana-taicho was in Hueco Mundo, the kido might have had difficulty penetrating the dimensions, but certainly either of you would have benefited." Ukitake smiled slightly.

"Perhaps. But no matter what, I'd still be ill every so often and Shunsui would still be....well, Shunsui." Nanao and Lisa shared a moment of eye contact, a shared grin dancing across their lips on opposite sides of the room. "Neither of us would be optimal candidates for the position. This is a valid promotion, not a temporary battlefield command." He paused. "The kido also works best for a younger captain whose abilities are still maturing – had Shunsui or I been the recipient, we'd likely have experienced some severe disorientation or even passed out for a while due to the fact our spiritual powers are rather developed."

"So, my taicho is now....the soutaicho? Really?" Matsumoto squealed.

"Yes, Matsumoto-fukutaicho," Ukitake replied.

"If only the Captain-Commander is to know of this kido, how did you gain knowledge of it?" Shinji Hirako asked.

"It is also permitted to be passed along to senior captains in times of war, and from my knowledge, very senior members of the Kido Corps are also aware of its existence and incantation," Ukitake replied. Urahara and Yoruichi glanced over at Tessai, whose face remained as immobile as ever, and the vizard all slightly twisted their heads towards Hachigen, whose placid expression did not waver a bit. "Sensei taught it to myself and Shunsui before we left for the false Karakura Town, and-" Ukitake took a breath, the infinitesimal nod of Unohana's head catching his head – "to Unohana-taicho as well before she departed to Hueco Mundo."

"Ukitake-taicho, might I be permitted to speak?" Komamura bellowed.

"Of course, Komamura-san," Ukitake replied.

"Hitsugaya-soutaicho, how much of Yamamoto-dono's memories do you retain?" the towering captain asked.

"It's not quite so much memories, Komamura-san," Hitsugaya replied. "It's more along the lines of kidou techniques I wasn't familiar with previously, various strategic and tactical plans, various intelligence and information regarding Seireitei and the Gotei 13 – things that a commander would want to know." Hitsugaya blinked. "I have also reached a higher level of communion with my zanpakuto – while yesterday's feat, power-wise, I can feel is a bit beyond my present reach, I could do it at a smaller scale. I am also starting to envision additional techniques relying more on the elemental nature of my zanpakuto."

"What was that technique?" Urahara asked.

"It was a technique that….well, it recreated the entropic heat death of the universe in a localized area," Hitsugaya said somewhat uncomfortably. "I literally reduced the temperature in that area to a small fraction above absolute zero."

"That's very fascinating," Urahara replied. "Perhaps, if you don't mind, Hitsugaya-soutaicho, you could let me run some experiments….."

_One Year Later – Urahara Shoten, Karakura Town_

The senkaimon opened in the vast training ground beneath Urahara's shop, two figures stepping out, Ichigo waiting there with Zangetsu strapped to his back.

"Took you two long enough, you were supposed to be here an hour ago!" Ichigo snapped.

"Important captain's business," 5th Division Captain Renji Abarai said.

"Ukitake-taicho needed me to take care of some things with the Captain-Commander's office," 13th Division Vice-Captain Rukia Kuchiki added.

"Well, let's get going then." The three dashed upstairs, nodding to the store's inhabitants as they rushed outside, disappearing with flash-step as soon as they got out the door.

"Have fun!" Urahara shouted as they left. Ichigo smirked as he caught Urahara's farewell.

"So, Kisuke, how do you feel?" Yoruichi said as she walked into the room in her cat form.

"Things are just as they should be," he answered.

"I can think of a few things that could be different."

"How so?"

"Well, for starters…." Yoruichi said in a higher pitched tone. _That's not a cat's tongue being dragged along my ear now_, Kisuke thought. He smiled. Jinta, Ururu, and Tessai weren't due back for another two hours anyway……

**Author's Note**: Well, given that complete nuttiness that is Yammy being Espada Zero, I figured it was only right and hilarious to do this short fic. I know that you can make the argument that there were hints, but it's just a bit too kooky for my tastes. Also, I have no idea whether "Entoropi Kanetsu Shikyo" is even close to being proper Japanese for "Entropic Heat Death", but as I don't speak the language for the most part outside of recognizing some terms and phrases, I'm not going to worry. (Corrections welcome, though! This is what I get with relying on online dictionaries.)

Reviews and constructive criticism welcome.


End file.
